It wasn’t easy at the start. I was still trying to come to terms with the loss of my Mother and then a very good friend died in the World Trade Centre on Sept 11. When I eventually finished my training in Antwerp I arrived in Bangkok and was met by my new boss.

He dropped me off at the Shopping Centre to buy some last minute essentials and told me that he would see me at 7am the next morning! I laughed and told him that it was a pretty pathetic effort at a practical joke and that he would have to come up with better than that! Yeah, like I was going to be there 2 hours before everyone else! Funny – NOT! But by the look in his face I realized that he was serious. In fact, he was not impressed by my reaction! Everyone at the company was working by 7.15am and some arrived at 6.30am!!!! Oh my God! What had I let myself in for?

Actually, after a few weeks of torture every morning I actually got quite used to getting up early. It’s amazing how your system actually adapts to the environment. But every evening when I got back to the Hotel I was completely knackered and mostly just ate and fell asleep. Even at weekends I didn’t go out much – I didn’t feel like it – and instead I submersed myself in the job and starting reading IT books in my spare time. In fact, my first Christmas in Thailand, I read "Red Hat Linux – the Bible" while sitting on the beach in Koh Samui! Yes, I was a bit geeky back then! But I really wanted to prove myself in the job and prove to others that I could succeed. IMHO, I did achieve in that job – actually a lot more than people probably realized.

Apart from the hectic work environment there is plenty of "extra curricular" activities available in Thailand. It always intrigued me that most people think about that side of Thailand initially. In fact, before I left Ireland the common theme from friends was "bring plenty of 5 dollar bills!!!". Actually, I always carry a 5 dollar bill in my wallet – just as a practical joke! However, I was adamant that I wouldn’t get trapped in this sleazy environment and focused completely on my work – for the first month anyway!

I used to walk around shopping centres at the weekend clutching my mobile phone. It was my weird belief that if I was seen with a mobile I was more likely to be perceived as a businessman rather than a sex tourist. I refrained from catching eye contact with the beautiful women and was generally a complete "virgin" to life in Thailand. Looking back now I think my innocence was one of the reasons why I really enjoyed my new life in Thailand!

But of course there were the obligatory trips to the Red Light areas of Bangkok. Actually, the first was with all my colleagues – kind of a welcoming dinner followed by a trip down the "local"! The main difference between the "local" I knew from Ireland was that there were girls dancing naked, other girls chatting me up and even more girls just walking around – and in my eyes at that time – they were all gorgeous! Every single one of them. Of course, my colleagues were more interested in my reactions to this environment rather than all the beauty on display. In fact, nowadays I am exactly the same. I get more enjoyment of watching others than I do watching the girls!

I acted very cool (at least I thought I was being cool), conversed with the girls when they approached me, smiled at the girls when they smiled at me and generally behaved rather well. After a while one of the guys asked me what I thought about the place. I told him that it was kind of subdued compared to Ireland – in fact, on a Friday night in Ireland the girls dance more provocatively, are much more friendly and generally are better crack!

Of course I was lying but I think he actually believed me!

What amazed me was that there was no sleaziness apparent. There was no shame involved in frequenting bars like this.

Over the years my views on the Thai nightlife have changed considerably. My advice to any new Expat in Thailand is to go out and enjoy yourself. Enjoy your innocence while you still have it. Don’t over analyse the situation and don’t think that everything is a scam. Actually, the less you know when you arrive here the better! That means less researching on the internet!!! Find your own Bangkok – not someone elses – including mine!

I have often thought that the person who can rekindle the innocence of a "newbie" to a long term Expat would be able to name his price! Long term Expats have seen it all – nothing phases them at all – and unfortunately – not much pleases them either. Its as if they have done it all already and have given up looking for that extra high! Just like drug addicts move from soft drugs to hard drugs to get a higher high, Thai Expats seem to move from soft sex to hard sex to get the harder hard!.

After about 1 month in Bangkok I made a trip on my own to Patpong. I was bored and tired of working. My saving grace at the time was watching the English Premiership (and it is still one of my favourite past times while in Thailand – sometimes I sit for 6 hours at a time watching live games – awesome!). Of course, the reaction when I entered on my own to one of these bars was quite different to when I entered with my colleagues. I think they could smell that I was "virgin" material – and it wouldn’t be hard for them to help me lose this virginity – as well as a few thousand baht! After some innocent conversations they must have confirmed with each other that I was the genuine article – and not just some long term Expat pretending to be a "newbie".

I am not handsome (although the more you are told you are the more you actually start to believe it!) but I am not ugly. I like to think that my charms are all internal and that I am endearing enough not to rely on simple good looks. After all, good looks are just down to pure luck – you cant influence your handsomeness (apart from surgery) but you can certainly improve your people skills. Therefore, nice is better than pretty!

Of course, I let it slip that I was working in Thailand as a computer specialist, had only been in town for 1 month, was single, wasn’t gay and had no friends. Jackpot!

People often try to rationalize why expats seem to fall for "bar girls" and why they don’t find "normal" Thai girls. The answer is surprisingly simple – its down to opportunity! Many expats would love to meet "normal" Thai girls but it is just too difficult.

First, they don’t tend to socialize in the same circles – most of these girls would not go to bars, discos and clubs.

Second, communication in English could be a problem.

Third, these girls don’t "give out" easy – you may have to do some serious groundwork before you can get your leg over.

Fourth and most important, most single Expats don’t have any friends in Bangkok. Therefore they go out on their own. However, Bangkok is a challenge to the newcomer and it is unlikely that you will be welcomed with open arms if you venture to a Thai hangout. You will stick out like a sore thumb! They will wonder why you don’t have friends and some might even take it as far to think that you are muscling in on their turf to further your sexual exploits!

On the other hand, Bangkoks girlie bars are a haven for the single reveler! The girls want you, they tend to speak a little English, you can get your leg over (at a price) and you don’t have to have a gang of friends to make it fun!

Note. Times are changing fast in Thailand and there is a little sexual revolution taking place at the moment. Actually, its happening so fast that most of what applied 4 or 5 years ago probably doesn’t apply as much now. Thailand is fast becoming a westernized society in terms of sexual activity. IMHO, it is changing too fast and the innocence will be lost forever.

Of course there are many social clubs and groups that you can join and I even made a few trips to the Irish Society. My abiding memory is of a group of sexed up, over the hill and perverted arrogant P**cks whose main issue at the time is whether the British National Anthem (God save the Queen) should be played at the St Patricks Day Ball! What?? Jaysus, who the hell cares? Aren’t we thousands of miles away from all that strife? Why cant we just enjoy ourselves and leave the politics to the politicians?!?!??

I moved to Thailand in September 2001. That was just a few weeks after my mother passed away. Actually, I had already left Ireland and was training in Antwerp when I got the bad news. I had a big decision to make – whether or not I should still go to Thailand or return to Ireland. I knew my Mother would have wanted me to fulfill my dream so that is what I decided to do. It wasn’t easy at the start. I was still trying to come to terms with the loss of my Mother and then a very good friend died in the World Trade Centre on Sept 11. When I eventually finished my training in Antwerp I arrived in Bangkok and was met by my new boss. He dropped me off at the Shopping Centre to buy some last minute essentials and told me that he would see me at 7am the next morning! I laughed and told him that it was a pretty pathetic effort at a practical joke and that he would have to come up with better than that! Yeah, like I was going to be there 2 hours before everyone else! Funny – NOT! But by the look in his face I realized that he was serious. In fact, he was not impressed by my reaction! Everyone at the company was working by 7.15am and some arrived at 6.30am!!!! Oh my God! What had I let myself in for? Actually, after a few weeks of torture every morning I actually got quite used to getting up early. It’s amazing how your system actually adapts to the environment. But every evening when I got back to the Hotel I was completely knackered and mostly just ate and fell asleep. Even at weekends I didn’t go out much – I didn’t feel like it – and instead I submersed myself in the job and starting reading IT books in my spare time. In fact, my first Christmas in Thailand, I read &quot;Red Hat Linux – the Bible&quot; while sitting on the beach in Koh Samui! Yes, I was a bit geeky back then! But I really wanted to prove myself in the job and prove to others that I could succeed. IMHO, I did achieve in that job – actually a lot more than people probably realized. Apart from the hectic work environment there is plenty of &quot;extra curricular&quot; activities available in Thailand. It always intrigued me that most people think about that side of Thailand initially. In fact, before I left Ireland the common theme from friends was &quot;bring plenty of 5 dollar bills!!!&quot;. Actually, I always carry a 5 dollar bill in my wallet – just as a practical joke! However, I was adamant that I wouldn’t get trapped in this sleazy environment and focused completely on my work – for the first month anyway! </p><p>I used to walk around shopping centres at the weekend clutching my mobile phone. It was my weird belief that if I was seen with a mobile I was more likely to be perceived as a businessman rather than a sex tourist. I refrained from catching eye contact with the beautiful women and was generally a complete &quot;virgin&quot; to life in Thailand. Looking back now I think my innocence was one of the reasons why I really enjoyed my new life in Thailand! </p><p>But of course there were the obligatory trips to the Red Light areas of Bangkok. Actually, the first was with all my colleagues – kind of a welcoming dinner followed by a trip down the &quot;local&quot;! The main difference between the &quot;local&quot; I knew from Ireland was that there were girls dancing naked, other girls chatting me up and even more girls just walking around – and in my eyes at that time – they were all gorgeous! Every single one of them. Of course, my colleagues were more interested in my reactions to this environment rather than all the beauty on display. In fact, nowadays I am exactly the same. I get more enjoyment of watching others than I do watching the girls! I acted very cool (at least I thought I was being cool), conversed with the girls when they approached me, smiled at the girls when they smiled at me and generally behaved rather well. After a while one of the guys asked me what I thought about the place. I told him that it was kind of subdued compared to Ireland – in fact, on a Friday night in Ireland the girls dance more provocatively, are much more friendly and generally are better crack! Of course I was lying but I think he actually believed me! </p><p>What amazed me was that there was no sleaziness apparent. There was no shame involved in frequenting bars like this. </p><p>Over the years my views on the Thai nightlife have changed considerably. My advice to any new Expat in Thailand is to go out and enjoy yourself. Enjoy your innocence while you still have it. Don’t over analyse the situation and don’t think that everything is a scam. Actually, the less you know when you arrive here the better! That means less researching on the internet!!! Find your own Bangkok – not someone elses – including mine! I have often thought that the person who can rekindle the innocence of a &quot;newbie&quot; to a long term Expat would be able to name his price! Long term Expats have seen it all – nothing phases them at all – and unfortunately – not much pleases them either. Its as if they have done it all already and have given up looking for that extra high! Just like drug addicts move from soft drugs to hard drugs to get a higher high, Thai Expats seem to move from soft sex to hard sex to get the harder hard!. </p><p>After about 1 month in Bangkok I made a trip on my own to Patpong. I was bored and tired of working. My saving grace at the time was watching the English Premiership (and it is still one of my favourite past times while in Thailand – sometimes I sit for 6 hours at a time watching live games – awesome!). Of course, the reaction when I entered on my own to one of these bars was quite different to when I entered with my colleagues. I think they could smell that I was &quot;virgin&quot; material – and it wouldn’t be hard for them to help me lose this virginity – as well as a few thousand baht! After some innocent conversations they must have confirmed with each other that I was the genuine article – and not just some long term Expat pretending to be a &quot;newbie&quot;. </p><p>I am not handsome (although the more you are told you are the more you actually start to believe it!) but I am not ugly. I like to think that my charms are all internal and that I am endearing enough not to rely on simple good looks. After all, good looks are just down to pure luck – you cant influence your handsomeness (apart from surgery) but you can certainly improve your people skills. Therefore, nice is better than pretty! </p><p>Of course, I let it slip that I was working in Thailand as a computer specialist, had only been in town for 1 month, was single, wasn’t gay and had no friends. Jackpot! </p><p>People often try to rationalize why expats seem to fall for &quot;bar girls&quot; and why they don’t find &quot;normal&quot; Thai girls. The answer is surprisingly simple – its down to opportunity! Many expats would love to meet &quot;normal&quot; Thai girls but it is just too difficult. </p><p>First, they don’t tend to socialize in the same circles – most of these girls would not go to bars, discos and clubs. </p><p>Second, communication in English could be a problem. </p><p>Third, these girls don’t &quot;give out&quot; easy – you may have to do some serious groundwork before you can get your leg over. </p><p>Fourth and most important, most single Expats don’t have any friends in Bangkok. Therefore they go out on their own. However, Bangkok is a challenge to the newcomer and it is unlikely that you will be welcomed with open arms if you venture to a Thai hangout. You will stick out like a sore thumb! They will wonder why you don’t have friends and some might even take it as far to think that you are muscling in on their turf to further your sexual exploits! </p><p>On the other hand, Bangkoks girlie bars are a haven for the single reveler! The girls want you, they tend to speak a little English, you can get your leg over (at a price) and you don’t have to have a gang of friends to make it fun! Note. Times are changing fast in Thailand and there is a little sexual revolution taking place at the moment. Actually, its happening so fast that most of what applied 4 or 5 years ago probably doesn’t apply as much now. Thailand is fast becoming a westernized society in terms of sexual activity. IMHO, it is changing too fast and the innocence will be lost forever. Of course there are many social clubs and groups that you can join and I even made a few trips to the Irish Society. My abiding memory is of a group of sexed up, over the hill and perverted arrogant P**cks whose main issue at the time is whether the British National Anthem (God save the Queen) should be played at the St Patricks Day Ball! What?? Jaysus, who the hell cares? Aren’t we thousands of miles away from all that strife? Why cant we just enjoy ourselves and leave the politics to the politicians?!?!??!